Father'sDaySentimentality
佚名/Anonymous
DearLara,
AsIwritethisletter,youarenearlyoneweekoldandsoundasleepatyourmother』sside.It』sgoingtobeafewyearsbeforeyoucanreadthis,andevenlongerbeforeyouunderstandexactlywhatI』mfeeling—whichisgood,becausethenyou』llneedevenmoretimetoforgive.
Thisletterisoneofthehardestthings,I』veeverhadtowrite,sinceI』monlyajournalistandnotarealwriter.NowordsIknow—noteventheonesIlookedupintheneighbor』sdictionary—candescribethesublimejoyandwonderIhavefeltsincewatchingyourmotherdotheequivalentofpassingAndretheGiant』sbowlingballandrealizingthatIcouldnevertakeherplace.
Andletmesayrightnow,thankGodforthataswell.
Whentheytoldmeyouwereagirl,Ifeltsoexcitedmyheartcouldhaveburst—forwhenyouhitadolescence,you』remostlyyourmother』sproblem,notmine.
WetookyournamefromLaraCroft,themaincharacterofthevideogame「TombRaider」andanewmoviethatfeaturesAngelinaJolieplayingfarbelowhertalent.Croft,youonedaywilldiscover,hasgazongaslargeenoughtosinkbattleshipsandhasreducedmanyteenageboystothelevelofdroolingidiocy.So,whileit』sanatomicallyimpossibleforyoutosharethatgift,atleastyou』llhavethenamegoingforyou,whichcan』thurtinjobinterviews.
ThebestwaytodescribewhatI』mfeelingrightnowis「surreal,」whichmeansIshouldlayofftheafter—dinnercocktails.I』velongwantedtobeafatherbutsomehowneverbelieveditwouldhappen,inlightofmylousydatinghistoryandpenchantsforwatching「StarTrek」andreadingcomicbooks.
Butnowyou』rehere,andaweekafteryourbirth,Istillsitforminuteswatchingyourchestriseandfall—iffornootherreasonthanit』smoreinterestingthantheotherrealityshowsonTV.Istillfeelasenseofwonderasyoukickandsquirmuponwaking—asyoustretchyourteeny—tinylimbs,wrinkleyourlittleface,andcry.AndthenIfeelguiltyforpracticingtheaccordionwhileyouweretryingtosleep.
Overtheyearstocome,I』msureIwillletyoudown,andthere』llbetimesyou』llwishyouhadsomeonedifferentforafather.YourcousinsMarioandLuigihavebeenwishingthatabouttheirfathersincedayone.
ButIwantyoutoknowthatI』malwaysgoingtobethereforyou—nomatterwhereyoushop,howyoupark,orhowmuchtimeyouspendonourphone.It』snotobsessive,I』myourFATHER,andIevenpromisetobeunobtrusivewhenI』mwithyouondates.(However,iftheguylaysasmuchasafingeronyou,he』sadeadman.)
Inlife,there』safewimportantthingstoknow:
Maintainagoodcreditrating.Successfulsuperheroesneverletitslide.That』showBatman,IronMan,theWasp,andtheGoldenAgeSandmanallretaintheirmillionairestatus,evenwhentheydothecostumethingfull-time.Spider-manandGreenLanternnevermadeeventheminimummonthlypayment,andthey』realwaysstrugglingjusttopaytherent.