TheFlowerinHerHair
貝蒂·Ｂ.楊斯/BettieB.Youngs
Shealwaysworeaflowerinherhair.Always.MostlyIthoughtitlookedstrange.Aflowerinmidday?Towork?Toprofessionalmeetings?Shewasanaspiringgraphicdesignerinthelarge,busyofficewhereIworked.Everydayshe』dsailintotheofficewithitsextra-moderncrispdecor,wearingaflowerinhershoulder-lengthhair.Usuallycolor—coordinatedwithherotherwisesuitableattire,itbloomed,asmallparasolofvividcolor,pinnedtothelargebackdropofdarkbrunettewaves.Thereweretimes,likeatthecompanyChristmasparty,wherethefloweraddedatouchoffestivityandseemedappropriate.Buttowork,itjustseemedoutofplace.Someofthemore「professionally-minded」womenintheofficewerepracticallyindignantaboutit,andthoughtsomeoneoughttotakeherasideandinformherofthe「rules」inbeing「takenseriously」inthebusinessworld.Othersamongus,myselfincluded,thoughtitjustanoddquirk.
Tomyknowledgenoonehadquestionedtheyoungwomanastowhyafloweraccompaniedhertoworkeachday.Infact,weprobablywouldhavebeenmoreinclinedtoquestionherhadsheshownupwithoutit.
Whichshedidoneday.Whenshedeliveredaprojecttomyoffice,Iqueried.「Inoticedthereisnoflowerinyourhairtoday,」Isaidcasually,「I』msousedtoseeingyouwearonethatitalmostseemsasifsomethingismissing.」
「Oh,yes,」sherepliedquietly,inarathersobertone.Thiswasadeparturefromherusualbrightandperkypersonality.Thefollowingpregnantpausepromptedmetoask,「Areyouokey?」ThoughIwashopingfora「Yes,I』mfine.」response,intuitively,IknewIhadtreadedontosomethingbiggerthanamissingflower.
「Oh,」shesaidsoftly,withanexpressionencumberedwithrecollectionandsorrow.「Todayistheanniversaryofmymother』sdeath.Imisshersomuch.IguessI』mabitblue.」
「Iunderstand,」Isaid,feelingcompassionforherbutnotwantingtowadeintoemotionalwaters.「I』msureit』sverydifficultforyoutotalkabout,」Icontinued,thebusinesspartofmehopingshewouldagree,butmyheartunderstandingthattherewasmore.
「No,it』sokay,really.IknowthatI』mextraordinarilysensitivetoday.Thisisadayofmourning,Isuppose.Yousee」andshebegantotellmethestory.
「Mymotherknewshewaslosingherlifetocancer.Eventually,shedied.Iwas15atthetime.Wewereveryclose.Shewassoloving,sogiving.Becausesheknewshewasdying,sheprerecordedabirthdaymessageIwastowatcheveryyearonmybirthday,fromage16untilIreached25.Todayismy25thbirthday,andthismorningIwatchedthevideoshepreparedforthisday.IguessI』mstilldigestingit.Andwishingshewerealive.」
「Well,myheartgoesouttoyou,」Isaid,reallyfeelingagreatdealofempathyforher.
「Thankyouforyourkindness,」shesaid.「Oh,andaboutthemissingfloweryouaskedabout.WhenIwasalittlegirl,mymotherwouldoftenputflowersinmyhair.Onedaywhenshewasinthehospital,Itookherthisbeautifullargerosefromhergarden.AsIheldituptohernosesoshecouldsmellit,shetookitfromme,andwithoutsayingaword,pulledmeclosetoher,strokingmyhairandbrushingitfrommyface,placeditinmyhair,justasshehaddonewhenIwaslittle.Shediedlaterthatday.」Tearscametohereyesassheadded,「I』vejustalwayswornaflowerinmyhairsince—itmademefeelasthoughshewerewithme,ifonlyinspirit.But,」shesighed,「today,asIwatchedthevideodesignedformeonthisbirthday,initshesaidshewassorryfornotbeingabletobethereasIgrewup,thatshehopedshehadbeenagoodparent,andthatshewouldlikeasignthatIwasbecomingselfsufficient.That』sthewaymymotherthoughtthewayshetalked.」Shelookedatme,smilingfondlyatthememory,「Shewassowise.」
Inodded,agreeing,「Yes,shesoundsverywise.」